TRUE CONFESSION TIME… I hate it when you notice my…

Victoria Secret Models, the damn Kardashians and JLo… they all look skinny, happy and tan this time of year.  Skinny and happy is on you.  Today I am here to help with the tan. The sunless tan.  No fuss no muss no ‘6 step process’ we don’t have time for TAN…

Oh – the confession? That happens later.      This whole post started because I am super pale and my friends are always asking me about the plan I use for getting a sunless tan.  The easiest way is to go to a place and let them spray tan you.  But, I have always hated having a salon supermodel who is FULLY dressed spray tan my partially NAKED body.  I am not 24. My boobs… well.. you know it ain’t pretty.  Now, there are these versa tan things.


You step inside this box and the machine talks your through the process.  Yes, you can be naked or in a bikini. No, no one has to see whatever you have going on.  You get a safe & fake tan in minutes. WINNING !! There is a drying thing that happens when you are done and you can head to carpool or happy hour tan !! You won’t be not sticky or icky either.


I use this full body deal when I am headed on a trip. img_2217.png

Headed to interview movie stars or pro athletes and most importantly when I am headed to a Mom and daughter waterpark day. ( spray tans help you look thinner and I need all the help I can get)


Most days, however, I really only need to worry about having a fake tan on my legs.  I am allowed to wear shorts to work.  I work outside remember??  Even when I am wearing shorts to work I am typically covered up on top so I don’t need a whole body tan. THANK GAWD.



  But, here’s the deal … I hate my legs. I cringe when people notice my legs. I do not like that my legs have muscles.  I literally have my Dad’s legs.  Growing up on the beaches of Clearwater, FL, muscular legs were not ‘in style’.  My step-Mom once told me I had POPEYE legs. I have heard I have MARYLOU RETTON legs…  those are the nicest things people have said.  All of it made me sad and unwilling to wear skirts with heels. With heels on my calves pop out more!!  For years it was the MOST EMBARASSING thing.  Now, I do understand that there are women and men desperate for muscular calves.  I don’t work out to make them bigger… they are staying the same size… so it’s working for me. My legs and my brain are no longer at war.  I have also decided to try to make them look MORE like girl legs.  LESS like Dad legs.  How am I doing that? Self Tanner, Sunless Tanning , whatever you call it I am doing it.  As I said, I get asked a lot ,so, here it is ladies… 


   I am aware that for many of you showing your legs is still not an option.  I have a few friends who workout and work outside and never ever show their legs.  Ladies it’s time to relax a little on that.  We are all in this together and a little bit of self tanner can go a loooooooong way. 


So which one ? I have tried so many and this is the combo I have settled on. img_3303-1

You can get Tanceuticals Self Tanner right from AMAZON. It does not smell weird.  It goes on nice ( even at 4am) and it isn’t too expensive.  Also, get a tanning  TANNING MIT  I found out about these from MALLY RONCAL   ( she is an insane but gorg celebrity makeup artist) BACK TO TANNING ..On day 2 I use a shimmer lotion to make my left less dry and give them some … shimmer. This is where it gets tricky.


This ST TROPEZ ONE NIGHT ONLY is amazing.  You can use it alone for some light color or after the initial self tanner application.  It was first “discovered” at London’s FASHION WEEK. It goes on a bit thick so I often put some in my hand then blend in some regular body lotion to even it out.  You get a bit of tan… a ton of gloss and shine and I love it.



I also love this MELANIE MILLS HOLLYWOOD GLEAM CREAM  It goes on more like makeup so I still blend in regular lotion.  This has more shimmer than gloss.  It’s great to put on your shins and make your legs look contoured and here’s the best part – it’s 8 bucks on AMAZON. But, there’s a catch.


It’s tiny !!!  Hilarious right ??  I will say that a little goes a long way on all of these products so it’s no big deal that it’s tiny. Did I order travel size ?? I have no idea. Bottom line it works and it’s cheap.

Ladies, we all have a body part that we hate. Some of us have a few… but there are ways to make them look better without a plastic surgeon or big price tag.  One of my friends still hates shorts but she will wear skirts.  Maybe you can try that ??

Bottom line, it’s summer.  It’s hot no matter where you go and it’s time to have fun.

Looking forward to hearing what you guys use. Looking forward to seeing more of you in cute shorts with your cute tan legs showing !!


Published by JennFred

Mom. Wine Lover. Sarcastic as BEEP

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