Quaranwhat?? A survival plan.

OK kids we are are in this together.  We are judging each other.. laughing and

trying not to be so damn anxious. Every week our world will look different, feel different and it will be up to all of us to adjust.  Does this mean I am about to get serious ?   img_3065

Oh hell no… NOT NOW !!

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE

We will need laughter now more than ever.  Sadly, the kids do not find us funny so, they are zero use to us at this time.  My first quarantine survival suggestion is to lock them out of the house … seriously, my Mom did it and I am fine. I AM FINE.

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In my world, the area surrounding Philadelphia, the weather has been amazing.  So, even though the kids have not been able to go to school, I have been able to safely lock them out of the house.  There they have found all the expensive sports crap that has been waiting for them all year.  “Practice your cancelled spring sports kids, leave Mommy alone.”  The below picture was clearly taken by me, inside my home while they were (and still are) locked out of the house.

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This also allows the kids time to really start hating each other again.  At my house, the kids typically hate each other the most in August.  That’s the time where the summer camp budget has dried up & they are forced to talk to each other. March is the new August here.  YOU ARE WELCOME KIDS!

WHEN WILL I SEE MY FRIENDS AGAIN?

When the kids are locked out of the house it really frees you up to do what you want to do. Scroll FACEBOOK and INSTAGRAM … you might even want to see what JLo is doing on TikTok.  This is what we WANT to do. It’s a great opportunity to see what your friends are doing. However, you should ( I’m no doctor here)  limit yourselves to like 6 hours a day.  The sites are scary. They deliver questions without answers.

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What I suggest is that you , we, all of us figure out how to drink online with our friends.  What’s great about this option is no one is using up your booze. You drink your own booze, in your own creative cup.img_3063-1

No one can judge us because we are SOCIAL DISTANCING OK  You can also drink with your friends without putting on pants.  GENIUS RIGHT ?

TECHNOLOGY FOR DUMMIES .. aka me

My friends and I have been using the ZOOM APP  You can use it in your kitchen , in your bedroom, and there is even a safe driving option if you need to walk around the house to make sure the kids are still locked out. Even if you are not super tech savvy you can use this.

SIDE NOTE: I am not tech savvy.

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The online drinking ( reasonably please) could help us combat one of the items I am most worried about… BOREDOM.  Boredom WILL BE the un-doing of this social distancing strategy.  In an effort to combat that side effect of us being so damn well behaved I recommend we go all 1960’s with our parenting style.  There are no ballet recitals to rehearse for… no track meets, baseball tournaments, there are ZERO EXCUSES for these kids to avoid chores.  This is the time when our kids can be useful.

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If the kids want to come back inside… there are chores to be done.  The colorful chore charts and cute co-vid calendars are great for other families.  Here at the Frederick house I leave for work (yes, I am still leaving the house) around 4am.  What that means is that when I am making my list for the kids I am freshly showered but cranky as hell.   I recommend you make your own list after you have been on an extended call with your Mother in Law or ungrateful Boss.

These kids need to learn how to clean a bathroom and eat what is in the fridge. We need to be the people who will force them to do so.

WHAT ABOUT MY HUSBAND

One final tip, now is NOT the time to have extended chit chats with your husband, baby daddy, boy toy.  They can be realllllllllllllly annoying on their best day, do not give them the opportunity to ask something like ” why are you “facetime drinking” with your friends when we could be netflixing and chilling?”   Directing them to their own couch and their own TV show will serve the family in this unprecedented time.  I am sure of it.

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BOTTOM LINE AMERICA, this is YOUR BEST FRIEND talking.

Let’s use our time wisely to get these kids moving in the right direction.  That direction is out of the house. Let’s use this time to reconnect with our besties and neighbors… and avoid your special guy ( or gal)  You can actually start a neighborhood food drive or check in on the elderly ( my neighbors did that … I love them) there are plenty of ways to get through all of this.  At a distance, using social distancing. DO NOT COME NEAR ME.

Finally, let’s leave the judging for July 2022.  By then, we will all have one hilarious story after another to share when we are hugging each other and hanging out in packs of 27 in the movie theaters and trampoline parks.

GOOD LUCK – STAY SAFE – USE LYSOL WIPES AFTER YOU HANDLE THOSE DOOR LOCKS …

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Published by JennFred

Mom. Wine Lover. Sarcastic as BEEP

4 thoughts on “Quaranwhat?? A survival plan.

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